CHAPTER ONE—WOUNDS

• Is there a real difference between brain and mind? 

• My therapist told me I lack mental space. What are they talking about?

• What does it mean to be mentally ill? Does having a diagnosis like PTSD count as being “insane”?

• So, adapting and surviving. Are they actually different things?

• Why do we sometimes perceive reality to be so dark?

• What counts as an emotional wound?

• What makes trauma different from other emotional wounds?

• How do you know where emotional hurt ends and trauma begins?

• What’s all the buzz around the “nervous system” about?

• I hear the term “overwhelmed” a lot. Is it always connected with trauma, and what are its consequences?

• What does it mean to be hyperactivated? Is it the same as broken, dysregulated, or stuck in survival mode? 

• What does dysregulation really mean for someone that wants to heal from trauma?

• What screams “mentally healthy”?

• Why are so many people afraid of being vulnerable?

• What’s the main reason we could believe in healing from suffering if most people spend most of their lives struggling with psychological pain?

• How does mindfulness work in healing everything? Is it really the cure-all?

• How do you heal an emotional wound?  

 

CHAPTER TWO—EMOTIONS

• What’s actually happening when we get emotional—is something controlling it?

• What are emotions supposed to be doing for us? Are they helpful in any way?

• What’s the purpose of having emotions that make us feel so bad?

• Some emotions feel way more important than others—is that true?

• So apparently everything I learned about emotions is outdated. What’s the real story?

• Should we just let emotions play out or try to manage them?

• Do we experience emotions one by one, or do we experience several at the same time?

• Why do emotions make us suffer so much?

• Is emotional pain just in our heads?

• Does emotional pain change someone mentally?

• Why are therapists always asking “Where do you feel it in your body? Are we supposed to feel something?

• How can you tell if someone is hurting emotionally?

• Why can someone be attracted to emotional pain?

• Why every time I feel sad, I also feel angry?

• Is my brain actually in control of my feelings?

• How can we change an emotion?

 

CHAPTER THREE—TRAUMA

• Why must we all deal with trauma on this planet?

• What, in your own words, is the definition of trauma?

• What does it actually mean when people say you’re in “survival mode”?

• So is everything trauma now, or are there actual rules?

• If some argue that trauma is not the event, how do we define what is and isn’t trauma?

• What does traumatization do to a person?

• Why do some people stay traumatized much longer than others?

• Does trauma make someone less resilient?

• Does trauma always have to involve fear, or are there other manifestations that don’t involve fear/dread per se?

• What are the big fears that can really damage someone?

• How does trauma disrupt our internal balance, and why does this matter for emotional pain and overall mental health?

• Why do some people seem wired to expect failure, and what’s fueling that self-defeating trap?

• What qualifies as victim mentality? Is it trauma related?

• What turns a bad experience into actual trauma?

• Is it bad to center your life around your trauma?

• Am I actually healing, or am I just getting used to feeling broken?

• How do you cope with fear and not panic?

• Will trauma always be part of my life?

• How does someone resolve emotional trauma?

 

CHAPTER FOUR—DISCONNECTION

• What makes some hurts turn into wounds while others don’t?

• What factors make emotional pain stick around?

• What are the worst things that can break someone’s heart?

• What situations bring out everyone’s worst insecurities?

• What’s the real relationship between ego and feeling insecure?

• What happens when your feelings were ignored as a child?

• When does neglect cross the line into trauma territory?

• Why am I so terrified of people leaving me?

• What problems do emotionally neglected kids have when they grow up?

• Why do I push people away even when I want them close?

• Is it normal to feel disconnected from yourself after emotional neglect?

• How do you tell if you’re genuinely nice or just desperate for approval?

• What happens to a child’s brain when they’re emotionally hurt?

• Can someone go through a terrible childhood and turn out totally fine?

• Can you tell if you have developmental trauma, or is it invisible to you?

• What’s the point of forgiving someone who isn’t even sorry about hurting me?

• What would you put in an emotional first aid kit?

• What do you do when you realize you were emotionally neglected?

• What do you do when guilt and shame won’t leave you alone?

 

CHAPTER FIVE—UNLOVE

• What type of abuse can be psychologically damaging?

• Is it an exaggeration to say emotional abuse traumatized me?

• Do people who verbally abuse you actually mean the horrible things they say? Or just connected to their anger and trauma?

• What’s it called when people get pleasure from hurting others? What are the possible causes of this behavior?

• How does abuse show up in someone’s behavior?

• I have C-PTSD from childhood sexual trauma, which resurfaced as an adult. I’m feeling a lot of shame. What do you feel shame about?

• What does narcissistic abuse do to you?

• Is psychological projection just another word for gaslighting?

• How do I know if gaslighting has damaged my ability to think clearly?

• How do you see through someone who acts loving but is actually toxic?

• Is attachment trauma a big deal?

• Are attachment trauma and developmental trauma the same thing?

• Is disorganized attachment why my relationships are so chaotic?

• What are the key differences between trauma bonding and actually caring for someone? Is healthy bonding possible?

• What patterns show up in trauma bonded relationships?

• Why am I so attached to someone who treats me badly?

• How do I stop assuming everyone will hurt me like my abuser did?

• Did the person you used to be ever come back after you recovered from narcissistic abuse?

• If trauma rewires your brain, what can be repaired, resolved, reprogrammed, or improved?

• Can someone be exposed to terrible things over and over and not be affected?

• What makes someone securely attached different from everyone else?

• How can I tell if I’m addicted to this person or actually love them?

• How does a trauma bond finally come to an end?

 

CHAPTER SIX—THE DEEPEST WOUNDS

• Do trauma and traumatization mean different things?

• What are flashbacks doing to my brain and mental health?

• I don’t think I’ve ever felt truly safe—what am I missing?

• How does unresolved trauma affect your life?

• How can you tell if someone is traumatized?

• What is the phobia of inner experience? And why is it associated with childhood trauma?

• Is hypervigilance a common experience for everyone? How can one cope with it when it occurs?

• What is a trauma response, and what are some examples?

• Is the way you respond to trauma your choice?

• What does it mean when people say they dissociate?

• Can I be traumatized too even if I am the one who caused something bad to someone?

• Doesn’t everyone, or at least the large majority of people, have some form of childhood trauma?

• How much will a 3-year-old remember about bad things that happen to them?

• What are the subtle signs of childhood trauma that people miss?

• What red flags suggest a child is traumatized?

• Why do so many childhood trauma victims take so long to process their trauma?

• Is post-traumatic growth a common experience for individuals after a traumatic event, even if it is not immediately apparent?

• Why am I scared to heal my trauma?

• How do you forget a trauma that’s haunting you?

• Why do I feel undeserving of comfort for my traumatic experiences?

• Should I forgive my parents for causing my complex trauma?

• Can traumatic memories be simply forgotten instead of repressed?